Awakening to Self-Love: How I Found My True Self Through Solitude

I remember the way I felt when I turned 19. I was excited to start university, to step into a new chapter where nobody knew me, and I could reinvent myself. It felt like a blank slate—an opportunity to leave the past behind and become more of who I truly was. But nothing could have prepared me for the journey that lay ahead.

University had its highs and lows, and one of the biggest struggles was getting into a relationship. I always had trouble accepting my femininity. The idea of vulnerability was terrifying, threatening the peace of mind I’d worked so hard to protect. Low self-esteem only made it harder to build the confidence I desperately needed. I found myself going through an identity crisis, questioning my existence and my value in this world. For the first time, I became aware of my own spirituality—not shaped by what others told me to believe, but by asking myself, “What do I believe about belief?”

It took me eight years to truly find my authentic self and express it in a way that felt right. Looking back, I see that my 20s were challenging because I didn’t have guidance. Everyone seemed to have their own ideas of how I should live my life. I cared too much about what others thought of me. Whether I cared or didn’t care, people would still talk. It was easy to struggle with the environment around me when I had no solid relationship with myself.

Eventually, circumstances forced me to look inward and confront all my hopes, fears, and insecurities. And that was when I truly learned what strength is. Strength isn’t about being tough; it’s about enduring the hardships and emerging with lessons, even if you’re left with scars.

For the first time, I experienced what it meant to have a relationship with myself. And with that came self-love. Having a healthy relationship with yourself—a true sense of self-love—cannot be matched by any friendship or romantic relationship you have. You are your own best friend, and sometimes, despite how selfless you are with others, you have to choose yourself. It’s a delicate balance between selflessness and self-care. You won’t always get it right, but more often than not, you’ll make the right call.