Being And Time

In life, you're going to meet different people. You will have different relatives that you'll get to know along the way. You will continue to evolve as a person. Intellectually, spiritually (if you do in fact have a spiritual life), emtionally etc. 

The reason why the ties of kinship being maintained is important, even from a logical perspective is because that is where your inception lies. You are half of your mother and father, each with their own genetic differences, that have been passed down to you which makes your relatiohship with your parents special and unique. This is regardless of whether they were present in your life or not. The fact that you exist today, is a symbol of the relationship they had with each other and an important part of your history and theirs, even just from a genetic perspective. 

You inherit some certain qualities and characteristics from each side. This affects the way your brain is wired whether you're a man or a woman. This is why regardless of who you resemble physically, your character or lack thereof can be attribute to one side of the family over the other, depending on whatever character traits you inherited from either parent.

This will determine the way you interact with the people who are around you as you gain some form of consciousness the older you are. You may like one sibling more than the other. You may have sibling rivalry with one more than the other. You may like one parent more than the other. You may like them both but believe that each of them are both important for different roles in the household that affect you and the way you're going to lead your own family and play your individual role, again, whether you are a man or a woman. 

People tend to ask me a lot of questions about psychololgy when I tell them I'm a counsellor. But what many don't realise is that if you really want to learn the human mind, even from a layman perspective, start by looking at your childhood and the people who raised you. Examine the dynamics you grew up thinking were normal until you realised they weren't but were simply normalised because that is the first time you can remember childhood trauma. 

You can break the cycle if you grew with a lot of trauma around the people you loved the most or were most vulerable to, as in the case of family and caregivers. This is why therapeutic intervention, even in the case of knowing yourself is absolutely crucial if you want to reach a point of heightened emotional intelligence and self consciousness. Because you cannot do alone without a professional from the outside observing you and guiding you. So, you don't necessarily have to have insurmountable problems in your current living situation to need therapy. But the therapy can go a long way in helping you learn all these things about yourself and more, in order for you to be consciously accountable for your decisions as you move forward with your life until the day you die. 

When you start interacting with other people out there, you have choices that you have to make as a person. There are people you cannot avoid relating with to a certain degree for example professionally. But the choices of friends you keep and the strangers you indulge in conversation will tell you so much more about yourself than the people you actually choose to speak to. For example, you wouldn't particularly like talking to people you have absolutely no common interests with you. You would talk to people who you can relate with even from an empathetic perspective. 

We live with so many different people in this world, some may want good for us, naturally, based on the way they perceive us and how they resonate with us and our character. This transcends beyond filial ties.

Whichever relationship in question, you need to be careful about the way you expose yourself to others. When people are observing you, that's entirely different from who you are in your inner world because there is a lot that goes unsaid and a lot that needs explanation. The words you choose say so much about you as an individual. You have a lot of favourite words and expressions you use that help people identify with and relate them to you. 

This nature versus nurture. What you now have control over is how you express yourself with your external reality and what you choose to absorb from it. It will tell you so much more about how happy and content you are in life. It will tell you why you are never really in high spirits, or why you suffer from depression. 

Yes, there is a whole world out there that you naturally want to explore. But don't neglect the world within you that influences what you see when you go out into the world. Otherwise, the good in this world and the beauty in it will not matter, if you don't value whatever you were born with, or whatever you evolved into. It may not be a blank slate anymore, but you're still the protagonist in this story and it can tilt to wherever you want it to go. 

So, what I guess you should ask yourself constantly to gain from all of this is...

Who are you?

and 

Why are you here?