If You Want To Buy Another Self Help Book, This Post Is For You

Time. We can't get enough of it. Sometimes we think there is a lot of it and then we take it for granted. Sometimes we wish we had some more of it because we are constrained by the stresses around us and the responsibilities we have to fulfill. 

Just last month, people we may or may not know, were making plans for January. They were making plans about the next Ramadhan. They were making plans for the next six months. They were making plans for the entire of 2025. And we all assumed as we were planning and conversing that we would reach this month alive and safe, ready to set those plans in motion.

In the past 3 days, just imagine roughly the number of people who didn't live long enoguh to read this status. And that's just from December. There were people who thought they were going to see New Year's Even and they were overtaken by events. Several people ushered in the new year without them.

Whenever people fear the subject of death, sometimes it's because we are forced to sit and really reflect on our usage of the time we have consumed and the time we have left. We have lived for as long as we have lived, and other people have departed before us at different times and different ages in different ways. And so, since we are still left standing at this moment, when the shock of the loss doesn't sting as much, we are tempted to remain oblivious about what exactly it means to be alive because we simply want to live. Because we think that by simply living, that is where contentment is. Some think that by simply living in the moment and inclining to our desires, we don't have to worry about what follows after this life because we would have lived fully.

Somehow in a way, the same people with this idea, never really have that true contentment of the heart. There is always something missing. Sure, they'll have those happy memories and even accomplish so much in a specific time, sometimes even exceeding their own expectations, even exceeding the expectations of others. But sometimes, unexpectedly, there is this empty space that's so pronounced and hard to ignore. 

There will be those moments you will face in life that will make you question everything you thought was real. There will be moments when all those core values and beliefs will somehow be shaken, tested and tried. And that is always scary. No one wants an existential crisis. No one wants to think about the things that keep them insomniacs. It's scary indeed to question what you thought was so obvious and straightforward, only to wonder what makes sense anymore, just because of the dose you often get from the harsh realities of life. 

Every other person thinks they have the solutions to your problems. Motivational speaking and pop psychology, pop philosophy, motivational quotes etc. these are all things they will throw at you to convince you using your vulnerabilities and sometimes feigning empathy. to convince you that their formula is in fact the right formula to navigate all the confusions and harsh realities of life. Some will even come up with new terminologies that may enter the social media platforms and become a part of the slang in our everyday conversations. Because they say sweet things that comfort us and give us some sort of hope that whichever self help book you're buying seems to understand exactly where you are right now in your life. It's only naturaly for you to try applying their words into your life.

For a while, it may work, but to what extent? How many self help books are you going to buy from the same writer, the same celebrity, the same public figure etc.? 

Do you know the difference between them and you?

When they write what you're going to buy from them, they're telling you their opinions based on how they lived their lives because they had that moment to sit and reflect. They took time to face their problems by processing each thought one by one. They did research before they wrote that book which you have on your bedside. They not only researched and read, they knew where to research and where to read. They knew the difference between mere knowledge and beneficial knowledge. They identified that beneficial knowledge, used it in a way that was applicable to their personal lives and they knew how to analyse, and evaluate that knowledge. 

They wrote it down to something abstract enough that would resonate with every potential reader. Not in all cases though. But in most cases, when you pick a self help book, the quotes, the sentence structure, the topic, the concepts, the mantras and terminologies etc. they all have the some variation of previous and current self help books. But the writer knows that the way they will write the content is something abstract enough to make you feel like their quotes resonate with you, even if you don't personally know the writer. Just enough content to ensure a purchase, to keep you leafing through and enthusiastic about when the next book is coming out. 

If that self help book was so beneficial, why do you keep buying others? Why do you keep trying different flavours of the same message from different authors? Why do you want to buy the same author's next self help book, if it is in fact true that the book which you currently have has changed your life? What do you hope to read in the next self help book that wasn't in the last one which you currently have? 

If what you have makes you somewhat incomplete to want another one from either the same author, or another with more or less the same theme of self help but a different seasoning, was your money well spent? 

The writer has some form of knowledge, this is for certain. Whether it's beneficial knowledge or not is up for debate but they're writing something because they have information which you want, which is why you keep spending money purchasing the same variation of content from the same genre in the name of seeking motivation. What you're looking for is mental stimuation. It's not entirely in that self help book. Whatever is in that genre of books is merely a watered down version. They know you don't want to read extensively to find the answers you seek, so they give you a more palatable version with the undertones of a taste without the actual meat. 

You can either continue getting an abstract concept of knowledge through these self help books and spend so much on a yearly basis, or learn the secret. The secret is that if you want to attain and apply knowledge, you have to use the mind you were born with and learn how to think. They already know how to and that's why they're writing what they know based on how they used their minds and they added onto that with knowing where to get the beneficial knowledge. This is a synthesised version, what you are reading. 

Learning how to think instead of simply accepting an imposition of thoughts, is not something easy to learn. It requires mental fitness and regular training through critical thought. But it's something that's possible, only if you want. You already have some kind of idea of what you want to read. Instead of being stuck on the self help books alone, be daring. Go into depth and look for the research detailing the core aspects of what that writer is trying to convey. This is why many religious people would love sermons but they never really have that same energy reading and understanding their doctrine. This is why people who have to learn about their ailments for example, are more than happy to get advice from the doctor if they don't have to read further about their conditions to understand what is happening to their own bodies. As a result, they neglect themselves and their health, hoping the doctor as the answer to everything because the doctor is the professional. 

Don't be complacent with abstract knowledge. If you really appreciated the knowledge you read, look for other credible sources with depth and go deeper. Once you start reading from there, your thinking will automatically change. And so will your life. 

Think. It's not illegal yet.