Sorry For Your Loss (Thoughts and Prayers)

You're never the same when you learn about the terminal illness of your loved one. It makes you very self aware of the reality of death. That the person you love very much will one day never wake up and that death will inevitably separate you. Death may be a natural, biological process of existence, but something about a diagnosis of a terminal illness makes it so real that this is the eventual result of their condition and suffering. 

It creates this feeling of helplessness watching someone you love in pain, yet there is little you can do to relieve them. 

Making memories with them is something important for you and for them. This person is already aware of their diagnosis and the lingering thoughts of their inevitable demise is something that traumatises them. The patient needs some counselling to come to terms with the subject of death and the dying process. The counselling will also be helpful to make the most of the rest of their life by focusing on the positive aspects of life with their loved ones. Having a support system around them in the moments of crisis will help them maintain a positive outlook on their future. The question of life after death is something that's left to be seen. Some may find refuge in religion and a spiritual life to help them make sense of the world uncertainty of the afterlife. Keeping in contact with religious or spiritual leaders somehow helps some patients reconcile the life they are losing in this world, with the peace they hope to find when they eventually die and stop hurting. As far as the support system goes, the patient needs people who will try to normalise the positive aspects of their relationships to avoid the impact of the diagnosis further damaging their mental health. 

Even the loved ones within the support system need counselling, possibly with the same therapist who is guiding the patient. This will help them understand what's happening in the mind of the patient and it will improve the communication between them. Maybe the loved ones need to think about the premise of death and face their fears around it because it's a reality that the patient has a limited time to live, depending on the profession of the illness. That would be the moment to ask a lot of questions about death, fear, uncertainty, the purpose of life, and possibly how they will handle the inevitability of their own demise. After all, life is uncertain and unpredictable and so is death. Facing the fear surrounding the subject of death is important for the family, not just to come to terms with the patient. If they can face the phobia surrounding the subject of their own death, it will make sense why the possible death of their loved one affects them so deeply.

No one is ever really ready for death. No one knows how they're going to die. We must make the most of the time we have left by living a virtuous life and doing right by our fellow man. We must face the uncertainty of life with courage and temperence. When we live a life of virtue, then the uncertainty of death isn't scary anymore, because we would have fulfilled our life's purpose to the best of our ability. Because the fear of death isn't necessarily due to the death and dying process. Many fear death because we struggle to make sense of the lives we live. 

If you are struggling with the subject of death and this post has touched you, know that this is a struggle you are sharing with many people who are living around you. I'm a counsellor who is able to take you through existentialist therapy, which is more or less what I've described in this post. You're welcome to message me for my services. As we work together, you will see death and life differently and In Shaa Allah you will no longer fear death. Because death of a soul or consciousness is merely a necessary transition from the constraints of a natural existence. 

Let's talk today.