Kenya’s Youth and the Silent Sex Epidemic: What No One Wants to Talk About

As you may know, I'm a fan of Reddit due to its features and the premise of anonymity as compared to other social media apps. I think Reddit is more or less like a forum compared to other social media apps, but that's beside the point. I'm a fan of Reddit. 

Sometimes, I like scrolling through the Kenyan-owned subs, which I quickly noted were filled with youth, albeit a few millennials like myself. I know I've implicated myself, but I won't avoid my age like it's something shameful. I mean, we're always ageing whether or not we approve of our changing bodies. Anyway, back to the point.

These Kenyan subs all seem to have a central theme. Relationships. Gen Z can't get enough of relationship posts. I remember a time when growing up, men avoided commitment while women were trying as hard as hell to trap a man. You would think that only women are obsessed with relationships, but the men in this particular generation are just as relational as the women, and love matters a lot more to them than they'd like to admit. Numerous posts are sent about a man, for example, feeling betrayed and rejected by the woman of his dreams he was hoping to date. Yes, they're having sex, but the interest in relationships stood out every time I read the young men's posts. I've heard some crazy confessions on that app I will not repeat. But let me paraphrase some of the things I've seen in different variations according to the posts.

"I guess I'll never find love because I don't have money."

"I met this girl, and we hit it off, and she really likes me too. But I'm broke." 

Or the common ones I've seen:

Question: "How do you get a girl off your back when you're not interested yet she won't take hints?"

Reply: "Tell her you're broke. She'll lose your number and her feelings. It's airtight. That should do the trick." 

They've said a lot about their sexual escapades too. The kind of cheating going on in these streets will make any sober mind get tested. Men are now commonly sleeping with their friend's girlfriends. This was news to me. I mean, I knew it could be a thing but it's very prevalent among this youth. I think the young ladies are probably unfairly associated with infidelity, more so should they happen to be Nairobians. And the men are not having it, so it's a case of who can cheat and cause the most heartbreak and chaos. In come the gender wars on steroids. I personally lack the energy and the will to engage in gender war-fueled attacks, but the young females in those subs are relentless with scathing, witty retorts that are almost impossible to recover from. One thing's for sure, being the shy personality that I am, I would never want to be on the receiving end of these attacks. My heart can't take being wittingly insulted by youth with no response in the chamber. And I would very much detest the presence of witnesses because that would stick for a while. 

The subject of sex education has always been taboo in the Kenyan context and Africa at large. Religion plays a key rleyhere, where adults believe that children should abstain from premarital sex. They believe that young adults should be more focused on their academics rather than to busy themselves too much with the relational, social aspect of campus life. Worse still is if the student is too young to qualify as a high school form four candidate. I'm also wondering when they squeeze in sexcapades in-between boarding school and exam periods yet they haven't even attained the bare minimum KCSE certificate. A case of misplaced priorities? 

Sex education has always been a thing I wouldn't necessarily fight because I would rather give a young adult advice pre infection than to face a stranded girl with an early pregnancy, a HIV positive status and family feuds in light of the discovery of her behaviour. The HIV prevalence rate among individuals aged 15 to 34 continues to rise due to low condom usage. No one is advocating for premarital sex. Sex education is merely supposed to bring awareness to young adults. They need to know that choices have consequences. If they were educated adequately about their sexual reproductive health, they would make wiser decisions. Preventing sex education is problematic because it's like an ostrich burying its head in the sand. Children are having sex whether we like to accept the statistical data or not. 

Data from the National Syndemic Disease Control Council (NSDCC) indicates that of the 16,000 new HIV infections reported last year, at least 73 per cent were of people aged 15 to 34. Let's interpret these statistics. You see, every human being had a sexual script but sexuality is ignored by temptations. Older people are also partly to blame, some being complicit to statutory rape. And because we live in a country with a doubtful justice system, the perpetrators walk freely among us, reoffending. Until the day the law enforcement take more punitive measures, the stats will worsen at the expense of young adults. 

At the end of the day, the choice of being sexually active is individual, regardless of the rules, laws and regulations of the land. Statutory rape is a crime and immoral. But technically, in regards to the minor, they literally have the free agency to act on any deed they so wish. And once again, choices have consequences. But with proper extensive knowledge, this time, they'd be making conscious decisions on what to do with their bodies. 

Let's say we want to take the moral high ground from a conservative perspective, which is understandable because the majority of Kenyans are religious. If you don't want minors practicing premarital sex, why is the society not taking punitive measure against the statutory rapists, who are the main perpetrators in the young adult's early exposure to sex? Why has it been normalised to say that women are the gatekeepers of sex, yet female minors are being continuously sexually abused by adult men? Why has society normalised that young male minors should seek sexual adventures with older women for experience? Why are some people okay with a young male minor being sexually abused by his teacher, and say that he's a boy, therefore he's supposed to like it? 

I'll give you a quote from the recent news article I read from the Standard Newspaper website.

"Samuel Kinyanjui from the Aids Healthcare Foundation (AHF) said many youths prefer using Pre-Exposure Prophylaxis (PrEP) over condoms to prevent HIV infections.

However, Dr Kinyanjui said access to PrEP remains limited compared to condoms, which also protect against unintended pregnancies."

Do you know what that means? That means that for many youths abstinence isn't something they'd ever consider apart from the pedophiles who are constantly lurking for places where they'd easily access these minors. We have a serious problem here, because the question of sex education in schools is a question of not only accountability of human behaviour, but of imposition of behaviours, thoughts and ideologies. You are well within your rights to feel conservatively inclined, but realise that there's only so much you can do for a young adult to share your views. This is an age where these growing young men and women are striving for independence however possible it may be. And parents who have age old experience are terrified, looking on at the slow realisation that their children don't think they're children. And that's scary because their minds are evolving at a more alarming rate than their pubescent bodies. 

“We encourage young people to include condoms in their budgets. As health experts, we know that investing in condoms is crucial because failure to do so can lead to a lifelong dependence on HIV treatment,” he said.

“Even though they prefer PrEP, its acquisition process is long and therefore discourages many. For example, they have to go to the hospital for tests to determine if they are negative, and then they take the tablets for longer periods as compared to condoms, whose process only involves purchasing in shops," he added. 

How many Kenyans who are sexually active know their status? Several Kenyans struggle and drag their feet to VCT centres for testing. The fear of receiving the worst case prevents them from ever walking in for an appointment. How many Kenyan adults know about PreP and PeP or even how to use it properly? The casual approach most adults have with their reproductive health explains the behaviour in young adults. There's no easy to guide young adults the adults are lax with reproductive healthcare? I'm not surprised by the recent findings. As adults, we should be ashamed of our hypocrisy in expecting the accountability of minors when we have age, intellect and experience surpassing the youth we are chastising. They're going to keep asking each other for relationship advice instead of opening the forum for a candid discussion with mature adults. Why? Because despite their age, they're old enough to see when some adults possess childish tendencies. At the very least, our maturity should demand the respect we expect young adults to accord to us not reproaching them to humiliate them.

So now here we are. With the freezing of foreign aid by US President Donald Trump, Kenya’s supply of PrEP is not guaranteed, and it is not among activities waived by the U.S. Department of State. According to Global Health Security and Diplomacy under the US Department of State, a 90-day waiver, PrEP shall only be offered to pregnant and breastfeeding women during the pause. Kinyanjui said that despite the order, donor support for the condom supply has been dwindling for the past five years. 

The director of NSDCC, Dr Stephen Ndol o, has also encouraged youth and young adults to use condoms to prevent new HIV infections and re-infections.

He encouraged the purchase of condoms in the market, noting the low supply of free ones following dwindling donor support. Available stock for key populations, according to the official, will last the country for six months. Kenya requires at least 450 million condoms annually, but currently, the country depends on the Global Fund, well-wishers, and non-governmental organisations.

“Only 30 per cent of free condoms are available in the country,” said Kinyanjui.

Kinyanjui, however, faulted the government for high taxation on condom imports and the lack of local manufacturing.

Why is the ministry of health receiving a budget and still expecting USAID to cover such expenses? Are they trying to say the ministry never gets a monthly budget? Where does all that money go when buying a condom isn't like buying a new top range medical equipment (which they still don't buy, but that ministry is heavily funded, despite healthcare workers regular strikes)?

Ngara attributed low condom uptake in youth to a lack of awareness and lack of money. The price of commercial condoms ranges from Sh50 to Sh1,000 depending on the brand.

Condom use advocate, alias ‘King of Condom’ Stanley Ngara, on his part, regretted that instead of protecting themselves against HIV and STIs, youth prefer buying themselves expensive alcohol. 

These are all things we need to discuss as s society. The more we treat the subject of sex ss a taboo, the more infections will increase and are likely to lose an entire generation to immorality out of our own negligence and ignorance. It's not enough to simply dismiss sex education saying young adults should be preoccupied with academics because they're already having sex. Sex education is not a matter of encouraging it's continuity because it was bound to continue anyway and has been that way since time immemorial. No matter how much we dispute sex education, this is a discussion we must have in the future to prevent the moral degradation of the future generations and society at large. It could be inclusive of religious teachings and counselling services recommendations to every learning institution. This will easen the collation of statistical data and interpretation while implementing suitable policies with the youth in consideration.

Remember that accountability starts with you, the adult. Don't throw stones when you're living in glass houses.